Tag: Dating in New York City

Burgers or Pizza?

SO…I texted him. Just once more.

When I saw his text on Friday I was too shocked to come up with a ball-busting response. Two days later and I had it written in my mind. I feel a bit better, but all I want is for him to feel as shitty as he’s made me feel. I am not a vengeful person and I will never be Blair Waldorf. But I am mad. How dare he decide that my weekend would be shitty weekend?

Ironically, one year ago this week my previous boyfriend dumped me. He chose to add some humor to the situation and do it on none other than Friday the thirteenth. So clever right? Looking back, he was not someone I could see myself with long term, but it still hurt. And one year later it looks like I have circled back to the same place.

Keep this up and my gravestone will read “the girl who got dumped in October.”

As I’ve been processing all this over the weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion thatevery guy I’ve dated has been an ass is because I live in New York City. Sex and the City wasn’t a myth. Men here suck.

The city provides its inhabitants with an endless supply of possibility. There is always a better job, a better apartment, a more attractive person to date. We live in a city with millions of people. So basically if the girl they’re dating is missing some quality, they just open up Bumble and find the next hot blonde to try out. What a sick way of thinking. It provides men with the ability to work their way through women without a second thought. Guys notoriously don’t do well with too many choices, but what have we given them? Tinder.

Look, I’m not dissing the apps. I think they’re a brilliant invention in this technology-driven world. But I am realizing what they have done to our generation. And it doesn’t seem to be a good thing.

I’ve done enough complaining this gloomy Sunday afternoon, so I am going to open up Seamless and scroll through the overwhelming amount of options for dinner tonight. Pretending I will try something new, and spending 20 minutes reading reviews of new restaurants, I will inevitably return to the same Thai restaurant and order my staple. When given millions to choose from, our brain gets overwhelmed. Can’t the same be said about dating in New York?

XOXO -J

 

Life, and a New (Cat) Mom.

Last night I adopted two kittens. Yep, I’m a cat lady now.

The minute I got home and unpacked the cuties, I received a text from the guy I had been dating for the last 4.5 months. Let’s call him Kevin. And yes I say ‘had been dating,’ so you can probably guess what happened next. He decided he needed to “get something off his chest” before his two week island vacation. Due to his busy schedule and the fact that he may not be staying in NYC next year, he felt it best to end our relationship before he hurt me anymore. VIA TEXT.

Wow, what a nice guy right? He’s thinking how kind it would be to not string me along for the next few months.

But what about the last 4.5? He knew when we first started dating that he was applying for other positions all over the country starting Fall 2019. He knew he had a busy schedule. But did that stop him from dating me for a few months? NOPE. So my question is, why waste my summer? (This is rhetorical, I can probably figure out the answer)

Let me give you a backstory…

I moved to NYC a little over three years ago to begin my career as a fashion designer. Like many before me, I embraced the excitement of all the city had to offer and spent my days running errands as an intern for a fashion company. I genuinely enjoyed this internship, unlike my first summer internship at a very well known, high profile design house (we will discuss this more next time). Yes I still ran about the garment district in high heels, sweating my ass off carrying bags laden with samples, going to factories in unmarked buildings where I would pick up MORE bags, only to run back to the office in time for our fitting. But the difference was at this internship, I was actually treated like a human (a rarity).

Once I landed my first job as an intimate apparel technical designer, I thought I has finally made it big. I had done it!! I was a real New Yorker, spending more on my rent each month than my paycheck allowed, eating bagels every saturday, and saving every dime for the inevitable almond milk latte needed to get me through a Monday.

Fast forward three years later, and I am still a technical designer (I actually do love my job), still living in the pricey apartment, and now have two cats. Oh yeah, I’m single. Again.

Why is it that we successful, powerful women (I like to pretend I am powerful) let men walk all over us? I know I’m not the only one. It’s always ‘make sure you play it cool’, and ‘don’t show him how much you actually like him’. Or ‘make sure you NEVER say Boyfriend until he brings it up, he might get scared and run away…or worse ghost you!’

We treat them with such nervousness so we don’t ruin the relationship before it even begins. And somehow, in all that time spent trying to be cool,  we end up actually liking them. Its a vicious cycle (more stories to come). So WHY do we allow them to hold the reigns on the relationship?? WHY let them determine the relationship status and if all of a sudden it needs to end?? If we are as strong as I know we are, then we need to stop! It’s too hard to be perfect all the time.

Now I’m sitting in my bed in sweats, cuddling with new kittens and with no plans on a Saturday night, and none to start dating any time soon. You know what? I genuinely don’t care. Come Monday, I plan to zip up my sexy over-the-knee boots (fall fashion is the best) and strut down 5th avenue to my office. As the heads turn, which they always do and I secretly love, I will be happy just being me. I have many plans for the future of my career and none of them will change because of one man.

Happy hunting. NOT.

XOXO -J